I saw them, I heard of them - marriages just crumbled to pieces. Heart-broken wives who had been married for many years all of a sudden have their husband walk away or vice-versa. My heart ached for them, and I would cry as I imagined the pain the family must be enduring. Was it worth it? Was it worth getting married and having a family?
From a child, I knew I wanted to be a wife and mother. I wanted family; it was the desire of my heart. I determined that I was going to do everything that I possibly could to be the best wife and mother I could possibly be. I observed people and picked out the good qualities in them and I wanted to be all of those. I dreamed and had all these high ideals and visions that were probably more than could be realities. I hadn't doubted the fact that I wanted to get married some day and have a husband to cherish and lovingly support in his vision, work and raise children together. I wanted it, because I wanted to make a difference and do it right!
It wasn't till around my mid-teens that I started to question whether I really wanted to get married some day or not. It was after seeing broken homes and broken hearts, and the total disregard by so many of the sacred relationship of marriage, that I questioned. Vow's and promises have lost their sacredness and solemness and instead of being like unbreakable chains, they have become but as vapor by the majority. What if, the one I married professed to hold the same convictions I did on marriage, and yet did not or later lost them? The thought of the possibility of my husband walking away from me was terrifying. Part of an entry to my journal I made at one time says: "Oh do I dare? Would I ever dare to give my heart to a man? To love and respect and honor and to place complete trust in? Would I? My heart quakes with fear..." The thought of my love and trust being betrayed is what I feared. Was there a man I could trust? If there was, how would I even know? Was there anyone who would realize the enormity and solemnness of the marriage vow, make it and stick with it till death do us part? I don't and can't know.
However, there is something that I know, and that is written in God's word. God ordained family to be and meant them to always be. He made husband and wife and children. He gave men roles, and women roles and each with their special responsibilities. If men and women walked in God's will and obeyed His laws, there would be peace and happiness in each heart. There would be unselfishness and love and the home would represent the character and kingdom of God. Marriage can be beautiful, and it is meant to be beautiful. I realized that and by God's grace, the vision and dreams I once had, I have still.
Yes, I will dare to trust my future to God. If time should last that long, I will dare to love the special person God brings into my life and I will dare to trust him and in his love. And...
Yes! I will dare to say "I do"!
Men and women of virtue are few and far between and it's easy to be tempted to think that there is no one out there for you and give up hope, but there is hope! We can't ever let go of hope! The choice and commitment in marriage is enormous and solemn. It will affect our whole life for better or for worse and if it were left up to our own judgment it would be a very fearful thing to choose. We can't read hearts and we can't decide who the right one for us is. Yet, God does, and He delights to make the perfect couples if we allow Him. He always has been and always will be the perfect matchmaker. He knows when we are ready, and in His perfect timing He will bring that special someone into our life.
40-50% of marriages in the U.S. will end in divorce. More than 50% of Americans co-habit before getting married. As of 2000, the most common household type in the U.S. was a person living alone. I don't know this for a fact, but I wouldn't be surprised if the majority never even get married. Isn't it alarming though? What is happening to society? Morals and high and noble principles have been degraded; a sense of right and wrong has been perverted; the beauty and sacredness of marriage and family has been lost. It is saddening!
God's ideals, God's vision, God's standards are not the worlds ideals, the worlds visions, the worlds standards. No, it is much much higher! Shall we make God's ideals our ideals, and God's standards our standards? Shall we catch God's vision and make it our vision?
God has a beautiful plan for your life and my life; for each season and for each moment. In perfect trust in God, there is perfect peace and hoping keeps you going.
"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." Isaiah 26:3