I was restless. My elder sister had just left - left me at almost a fork. What should I do with my life? I didn't know. I needed direction, some purpose. I'd done my exam. I didn't have anymore pieces to pour effort into. There were lots of options staring at me. Just which one? It was during this week that I got the thought to write out what I was looking forward to in heaven. I was so excited about what I learned, and how special it was. I told Elyssa about it... I was so happy. A week before I'd come across her blog through my sister's. Telling her about it - I got an idea. Why not share the blog with her, and when I learn things I can share it on the blog? She agreed and sent me the link to be a co-blogger. I got onto picking a profile picture and writing the 'about me'. Mum sat beside me, giving ideas - you're an Aussie girl...... she gave me a few ideas and I started writing. Then she added something that shocked me. "write - my goal in life is to be a blessing." It was a noble goal - but was it truly mine? It's what I wanted it to be, but I knew in all honestly it wasn't the total truth. Why the dishes still weren't washed up. I hadn't done a whole heap that afternoon. I had just been discouraged. I completed the blurb and then posted it. Jobs had to be done. There were some that couldn't be skipped. Time ticked past, and it was evening. I was eager to write about what I'd learned. I glanced at the clock. It wasn't an option. Bed was the only choice. I reminded Mum to wake me early so that I could write it in the fresh of the morning. Bed.
I did write that article. You've probably read it. I still can feel the thrill, just thinking about heaven. The day slid into evening again. So tired! I wrote a list of the things I wanted to achieve the next day. I read the list and paused for a moment. The pencil moved and I added to it: "Be a blessing (in a big way.)" The morning started... before I wanted it to. The air had a slight chill to it. Bed was so nice! I was sleepy. I jumped up and dressed. Took Thatch (our pet emu chick) down to the chook pen. I knew what was next. I went to the buckets outside of the back veranda door. They contained the soaking barley for the goats. I looked in the bucket. Dipped my hand in the cold water. Then I noticed: so much smut to wash out! Twenty minutes later, the smutt was all washed out and I'd made the feed. I got Tutzi and milked her. It felt good to be the only one up. Mum? She hadn't slept well. Satisfaction wrapped around me. Cedar was empty soon too.
I began making pancakes. The day started. It was hard just to listen to Mum's (seemingly) incessant instructions and obey them right away.
The weeks have passed since that day. I don't write that reminder down anymore. The moments and minutes are filled with it. I'm happy. I've found direction. I try and see how much I can get done before I'm asked to do it. Then to feel the peace, the happiness when after I get told to do each task... and to be able to say with a big smile, "I've done it." As the rice on the stove boils and I rest a minute from cutting apples up to go with it. After I pour the cream with mango, pineapple, sunflower seeds, lychees... I write. I realize how blessed I am. To find the joy that there is, in serving others.
"Thank-You Father, for teaching me to be a blessing. For helping me develop my character, and preparing me for your call. For helping me to obey without waiting. Thank-You so much. I love You."